1- When you learn a lesson don’t repeat it. It makes people think you are incredibly stupid.
2- Don’t worry so much about people think.
3- You hate wearing High Heels. You’ve known this for years. So don’t get convinced. You’ll end up walking home alone (very slowly).
4- A pie for breakfast is not on. Even on a Sunday.
5- Treasure your friends. Don’t date their exes. That’s straight-up bitchcentral.
6- Don’t sign up for a ‘box-of-12-wine-bottles-delivered-right-to-your-door(!!)’ trial. You’ll wind up, drunk, broke, and on the phone to the Hunter Valley way too much.
7- Go to the beach a few times a week. The city won’t seem so cavernous. It will also keep your fingers away from typing in ‘www.airpacific.com’.
8- Coles is cheaper than the 7/11! Do not shop in the 7/11. Do NOT shop in the 7/11!! Tattoo this on your arm.
9- Don’t get any more tattoos or piercings.
10- Every morning, miss your brother. Do not ignore it. Loneliness is a part of this parcel unfortunately kid. No amount of Friday Nights out, BBC Boys or karaoke is going to make this world any more recognisable.
(11- Karaoke is fun though.)
(12- So are BBC boys.)