Getting older comes with a lot of crappy things. Medical cover. Mammograms. Matching linen with your teal trimmings. It also comes with some good stuff too. Clarity. The ability to stand up for yourself. And a genuine Zero Tolerance policy for bitchy dramatics.
Without these things (and home Nescafe machines) adulthood would be a complete and total ball of bull.
In the last week or so, a few different situations have attempted to drag me back down the rabbit hole of ‘He Said She Said What Now!’ In these awkward circumstances I found myself a bit flabbergasted (great word) and taken aback.
As such, I replied with a bunch of nothings. I used to be really good at this stuff. But apparently just like my guitar… once you put it down … you have to think for a while before playing your old songs.
So I am here to tell a story. To the lot of you. At once. Think of it as eulogy. To the world in which all this complete and utter bees-wax occurs.
Being a teenager is tough. Being in your early twenties is much the same. Being confused about young love is hard. And losing a sibling SUCKS.
Losing yourself as well is all part of the process. Being in search of something is another. Death comes with all sorts of pins and needles. Mistakes are bound to happen.
Finding yourself again is an endless joy. Finding your real family of friends is another. Memories of being stupid become just that. Stupid memories. A laugh over a glass of wine. Not a reason to cry and whine.
So. If the worst thing I ever do in my life is get sad and date two douche-baggery friends, then stick a fork in me kids… I’m done! I’ll take that any day of the week!
That’s the best thing about being an adult actually. Knowing what you’ll take and what you’ll throw right back. What I won’t take anymore is the slap on my character. My life is all out here on show. Always has been. Always will. What I will take is my time. Deciding who is worth it. What I won’t take is the falsities. What I will take is an apology. What I won’t take is too much of my day listening to it.
When I was younger my mum used to make us give our ‘thankfuls’ over dinner. When I grew up a bit, went to boarding school and was super homesick she asked me to write them down. I had a thankful diary. But I rarely filled it out. I was full of teen sour-grapes and couldn’t see the sweat that was going into my education.
Now that I am an adult and making money off my many words, it’s easier to show gratitude.
I am thankful that many people will read this blog and laugh and think less of me. I am thankful I don’t care.
I am thankful that I now know the difference. Between being from the same place and heading in the same direction.
Everyone has his or her battles. One of mine is this:
Recognizing the good people. Not the good IN people.
I’m not completely there yet. But every loser I meet, is getting me closer to the finish line.
And for that.
I am eternally thankful.