#BAFFLED … for the utterly confused

WELCOME TO #BAFFLED … a series of notes for the utterly confused, truly perplexed and entirely bamboozled by the pop-culture hot button topics.

This is a safe space for those who do not yet have tea to spill or a furious opinion to share. Nay, tis for those whoth hath not the faintest idea of what is a’goin on.

I am Matisse, your captain.  As I too, have not a clue.

To get this gorgeous train a rumblin’, I bring to you, the curiously titled KIMONO. And no, not the traditional Japanese garment, loved and adored by both an entire nation and musically inspired hipsters who lay on day-beds holding coffee and thoughts.

This is KIMONO, is brought to you by none other than forever intriguing Kim Kardashian West. The archbishop of the attainably popular. KIMONO is KKW’s new line of “solution-wear” (???? we shall return) and it has “the whole world talking” apparently.

*Pause* This phrase “the whole world talking” is always so troubling to me, hence this blog. I am left thinking “where? Where are they talking? Is there a newsletter?” When I click on Youtube, I am only displayed dancing toys, a shrieking child named Wendy opening toys, or of course, my co-co-parent, a toy herself, Peppa Pig. My instagram is filled with solutions to compost, my friends babies and hilar’ memes about drunk texting (guilty as charged ma’am). My facebook is just videos telling me to go back to University online and tricky folding furniture. So WHERE are they talking pray-tell where! *Unpause*

So as the very dedicated blogger that I am (who is definitely not just thinking of this excellent “#BAFFLED” idea and going for it at 9:30pm on a Monday night) I did a little digging. (Emphasis on “little”) It turns out the international raaaage is stemming from the name KIMONO and its connection to, well, the fact it is literally means, something else quite ancient and sacred. I googled it. Story checks out. And it seems that fierce battle is well underway in the world wide wilderness. 

However, that is not what I am here to discuss.

What I believe someone has forgotten to explain when it comes to KIMONO (or KimOhNo! as some clever cat has coined – lewl) is the other BIG question staring us square in the face.

And that question is, what is going on here?

More specifically, here.

What is truly the haps?! Where oh where is the other leg?!

If this is a solution, I would humbly like to ask as to the problem? Kind sir.

What I am seeing here, is a CRUDE display of cost-cutting by the Kardashians, and to be frank, I’m disappointed. If anyone can afford two-legged strange transparent bike-shorts, tis them.

Please someone help me understand.

BAFFLED.

Truly baffled.

Until we meet again,

Matisse

(Captain.)