If you know you know

#BAFFLED ‘If you know you know’ and I do not know.

This is SUCH a common occurrence in my life, I should be sponsored by Google. Honestly. I spend a good amount of my youthful(ish) existence googling the meanings of things, the backstory, the explanation, just to receive but an incy wincy clue as to the what in the high heck is-a-goin on.

It’s like wisdom FOMO. I have severe Frustration Of Missing the Obvious.

Henceforth, the Google.

Today for example I googled : “Dress with jumper and what shoes?”

This is not a joke people. I was of course hoping some kind computer human would tell me what sort of shoes go with a dress AND jumper as it is neither a winter nor summer ensemble and is therefore confusing. FYI, it is what is wiiiiidely known as a ‘climate-hybrid outfit’. (No it’s not. I made that up). Anyway, I was perplexed and wound up staring at pictures of many people, in no less than (you guessed it) a dress, jumper and shoes. Before realising I only really have 3 shoes anyway and just to get on with my day.

ANYWAY. The point of this post. Is to say, last week (I can’t remember), something was brought to my attention that annoys me greatly.

Almost like some sick joke, a “new” (who knows?) instagram trend (often the source of my furious confusion) has emerged that hits right at the heart of my problem.

Doing the ‘in-crowd’ rounds is now the caption ‘IF YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW.’


I mean. How dare you. You KNOW, very well that I DO NOT KNOW.

Never. Not now. Not ever. And I am as curious as all the Georges and all the cats in all the land! And now, you are taunting me.

I am currently developing some sort of retaliation for the not-knowers to really mobilise and get behind. Please stay tuned (slash more importantly give me ideas and tell me how best to do that. I am currently googling it.)

Anywho, I must adieu. I have to go to that REALLY important THING I was telling ONLY SOOOOOOME of you about. #IfYouKnowYouKnow

(Very upsetting isn’t it???)

So ta-ta friends (and the 3x fine people from Turkey who according to my STATS look at my blog semi-regularly and I’m not sure who you are and all I ask is that you are not in fact stealing my identity, as I like it.)

Also good-bye to my friends from high-school who are completely unhelpful in my search to better understand society. (see below) Good-bye good ma’ams good-BYE. (ps love you, never leave me.)


Ps. Upon reflection of this blog I realise I may just not know how to wear clothes in official / cooler settings. Something to ponder…

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